Kayla (accentsarehot) wrote in advice_chic,
Kayla
accentsarehot
advice_chic

I wanna believe him...

I have a very serious problem....

Richard = my boyfriend
Tiffany = his ex, who he was with on & off for 5-6 yrs

I've never been in a situation like this before, EVER. Because this is my first serious relationship. I just need some advice. Please. Someone help me.

Tiffany text richard this morning, telling him that she's not mad at him at all. He says he hasn't talked to her, that he doesn't know how she got his number. But I dunno what to believe...

My biggest fear about this boy is loosing him. To her. That he's gonna leave me for her. Again. It happened the first time we were dating, but we'd barely been together, I lived about 2 hours away... he couldn't deal with the long distance thing... but still...the last thing I want is for this scenario to play out again.

I'm just tired of not knowing what the truth is. She didn't just magically get his number. But he swears he hasn't talked to her, that he's telling the truth.

Of course, calling/texting her and asking her is completely out of the question. We hate each other and if he is telling the truth, she'd just lie to play mind games with my head anyway.

A few weeks back, I got into a text war with her and it was all totally ridiculous, her being a jealous ex, trying to play mind games that weren't gonna work (at the time?). She was calling me ugly, said I didn't know how to dress, do my hair, or keep anything clean, kept going on about how the only thing I was worth to richard was the kid in my stomach, just all these horrible things that she thought would get at me and, at the time, it didn't work because I knew he loved me, he hates her, doesn't wanna talk to her, etc...

Well, I blocked her number, but it's still in my phone, cause of the blocked number list. I was giving it to this other girl we know, cause she wants to fuck with her cause she doesn't like Tiffany either. I just pulled the list up and showed her which number it was and let her copy it into her phone.

But Richard kept asking me for her number, said he was gonna fuck with he, talk shit to her and not tell her it was him. I told him I didn't like the idea, cause I hate her, and really don't want him talking to her, but he kept insisting. So I finally broke down and gave it to him. Later that same day, I text him while he was at work and told him I really hate to be such a paranoid freak, but I'd really like it if he'd delete her number cause I really don't like him having it. He told me he deleted it.

Not too long after that, we're at a super bowl party with his boss and his boss's business partners. I'm looking through his phone and guess what I find? Tiffany's number is still in his phone. I didn't make a scene since we were at someone else's house, but I told him he was a liar and that her number was still there. He said he was going to delete it that day I asked him to, but Steve (that's his boss) had asked him to do something and he just forgot.

I deleted it that day, but I have no idea if he'd talked to her before or what, so if he had, she already had his number, so there's nothing I can do there...

Then there was another incident.... One day, Richard was gone with Chris for about 5 hours. I have no clue where they were. He tells me smoking with some friends. Well, Chris accidentally pocket-dailed me and it ended up leaving this really long voicemail. There were 2 girl's voices in teh background, one of which I SWEAR said "Richard, I love you, I wanna get married", though if that's actually what was said can't be 100% clear cause the phone was in Chris's pocket and it was all pretty muffled.

I called Richard after I listened to this voicemail like 2-3 times. He swore they were chilling with some guys and that the only girl that was there was one of the guy's wives. Later that day when he got home, I made him listen to it. He said he could see where I thought that was what was going on, but he told me it was the tv.

Richard and Tiffany were together for a long time, so I know they know a lot of people in common, including Chris (yeah, the 35 year old from my last post). I asked Chris if he had given her Richard's number, but he says he didn't.

I dunno if Chris is lying and he gave it to her, cause he lies to me about hanging out with the fucking WHORE, has had her in MY CAR, knowing how much I hate her, and has yet to tell me about it (I heard from a friend of mine who was in the car when Tiffany was).

There's always the possiblity of these other people that Richard and Tiffany have in common might have given her the number, too. I just don't know.

But the worst part of the whole thing, honestly, is that I have no way of knowing whether Richard is lying or telling the truth. I want to believe him, I really do, with every fucking part of my entire soul, but I just don't know what to think anymore. I dunno what to believe.

I really don't want this shit to be true. I just wanna wake up and it all be a really bad dream, like it was a few nights ago. (Yeah, for 2 days before V-day I was having these dreams about him leaving me for her...)

This is probably the worst feeling in the entire world. Having no idea whether the man you love, the man who is the father of your child, the man you plan on marrying... is telling the truth.

I really hate having to trust that what he's saying is the truth with no way to prove it either way. I just. Want. To know. The goddamn. Fucking. TRUTH!

x-posted: advice_chic, boys_and_girls, datinandrelatin, girladvice, love_sucks, loveadvice, vent
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