custard.soup (sallylouise) wrote in advice_chic,


Yeah so I have a problem.
I hate my life. I'm at the point now where I just don't really wanna be here anymore. My Dad beats me up. It's horrible. I've more or less grown up with one of the people I need most being one of the people I'm most scared of.
and it's all my fault. I could be a better person and it wouldn't happen.
Theres this guy I like. I spent ages thinking he wasnt gonna like me. Only now I'm in a relationship with him and I'm scared I'm gonna hurt him. I mean I don't think I could talk it. I've allready ruined my family. If I hurt anyone else I really think it would kill me. I have no idea what to do.

I just wish it would end.

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It's not your fault that you're dad's a jackass and beats up on you. It has nothing to do with anything you've done or whoever you are. Even if he makes you feel like "it's all your fault" (whatever that might be), it really isn't. It's his problem, not yours. If he's got anger problems and is overly violent towards you that's something in his head that he's got to deal with.
Perhaps family counselling? A call to Child Protection Services? Even if that makes him more angry at you, it's likely that it'll be a short-term thing, and in the long run it'll get better.

And don't worry so much about screwing up your relationship. Honestly I think the more you worry about it the more likely you are to do something that might cause it to start going downhill. Of course it's not easy to just stop worrying, but work at it and it'll be okay. And maybe you should talk to your guy about how worried you are about making some kind of mistake. Most likely if he's a good kind of guy to be with he'll be understanding and you'll be able to work through any rough patches together.

Good luck ♥
I agree.
Really, why do you think this is your fault that your dad beats you up?
When did he start it? And what was your fault exactly?
I hate my life too because of things that have happened to me and the situation I'm in right now. I've been abused too in many ways by many people and I have hurt so bad that I can't even hurt anymore. Your only chance is to realize you are better than that. Liking a guy is fine, but don't do what I did and rely on a guy for happiness and to make you forget about the pain you're dealing with now. I based my whole life on my boyfriend and he left me and now I have barely any friends and no one to talk to. Don't worry about hurting anyone else. First think about what is best for you and your future then ask yourself if it will significantly impact someone else. You're not a bad person your father is. Or maybe he's just drunk like mine.But whatever it is it's not you.
I personally don't think it is safe for you to stay at home. What if he just pulls out a knife or something someday? Would you know what to do? He drinks? Other drugs? You cannot predict what will happen with violent people because their thought structure is so iradical and " not there". I am scared for you in all honesty. Hopefully you can write back and be strong! Take what you can out of life and use it to your advantage no matter what it is. The best thing is that it is easier to learn from your dad's mistakes right now than copy them in the future.